Internal Family Systems: Where Do Parts Come From?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) was developed during the 1980s by Richard Schwartz. The simplest way to describe IFS is to say that it is a way of organizing and understanding the contradictions of the mind. As an example, consider addiction: the desire to have another beer, against the shame or guilt one might feel when they believe they’re drinking too much and want to stop. Sometimes we feel love for an abusive partner, while also feeling afraid of what will happen next.
IFS examines these competing conflicts through the lens of self-examination. It treats these impulses as separate entities or desires that are in conflict, jockeying for control—often without ever really having a conversation about why they feel the way they do. Picture your mind as a room full of people all jostling for the controls—that’s not far off from what’s happening every day.
Parts of Internal Family Systems
IFS breaks up the internal parts into an organized system of different components. There are three broad categories of Parts:
Exiles
As the name suggests, these are the parts of ourselves that have been shut off or pushed away. In many cases, they’re related to traumatic memories from childhood. The birthday party no one came to. The time your father yelled at you. A bully who pushed you into the mud at school. These wounds get pushed to the far corners of the room. We try not to think about them.
Managers
These are the corporate executives. Our very own internal helicopter parent. They’re the watchdog that tries to keep us from emotional and physical harm. Sometimes that can be helpful, but at other times it can hold us back. Managers keep us from sharing our creativity with others. They tell us not to go out to the party. To stay in our lane so we don’t risk rejection.
Ultimately, this comes from a place of love—but letting Managers run the show all the time runs the risk of stifling our emotional, creative, and professional growth.
Firefighters
These folks are the action heroes of the internal family system. They’re there to leap into action at the first sign of distress or danger. They don’t always have a plan and they sometimes make a mess, but they take over to get us through whatever challenges we’re dealing with. Because Firefighters are act-first, think-second, they can get us into trouble.
They might throw the first punch when we feel threatened. They might head to the bar after a bad breakup, to distract us from our heartache with a night of drinking and dancing. As with Managers, they’re acting out of love—but they need a firm hand on the wheel to keep them from driving off a cliff.
How can IFS help?
The goal of IFS is to give us the tools we need to understand and reconcile all these different parts of our personalities. By engaging with these archetypes on an individual basis, and by working with them and hearing them out, we can moderate these conflicts in a conscious, loving fashion. This, in turn, promotes inner harmony and cuts down on angst and stress.
How does IFS work?
As with most forms of therapy, IFS starts by taking stock of your family history, prior experience in therapy, and so forth. It’s an action-oriented, goal-driven type of talk therapy that emphasizes helping the client resolve unwanted patterns of behavior, negative thoughts, and so forth. Much of IFS therapy involves exploring and personifying your various beliefs and impulses. The first major step in IFS therapy is developing a map of your internal landscape, and marking the various ‘Parts’ of your personality.
From there, you would begin engaging with those parts. Exploring how this part influences your daily life—what it wants from you, what it’s afraid of, and where it came from. Ultimately, the goal of IFS is to help you get to know these Parts of yourself so that you can engage with them in a loving fashion.
Learn more
If you’re curious about IFS Therapy and how it can help you heal from anxiety or trauma, please reach out for a consultation.
Sea Glass Counseling and Consultation is an EMDR therapy practice in Dublin, Ohio. Our compassionate, skilled therapists use evidence-based techniques grounded in the neurobiology of stress, trauma, and relationships to make sure your treatment is personalized and effective. Sea Glass therapists provide telehealth counseling in Ohio for individuals and couples. We’re best known for providing Intensive EMDR therapy, anxiety treatment, and sex therapy for Christians. Interested in working together? Contact us today to get started with a Certified EMDR therapist in Ohio.