Tips for Letting Yourself Become More Intimate
It's common for many people to feel like there's something wrong with them because they struggle to connect intimately with others. Many people grew up in very strict families that struggled with emotional communication and vulnerability. Others experienced abusive or toxic relationships that left them cautious and guarded in romantic relationships. No matter the cause, the reality is that struggles with intimate connection are a common aspect of modern life.
Intimacy is an act of exploration and discovery. It takes time to establish the intimacy between two people and isn’t always easy. If you’re at a point where you want to establish deeper connections with your partner, keep reading for tips on improving emotional and sexual intimacy.
How To Improve Emotional Intimacy
New Experiences
One of the ways you can establish intimacy and get to know someone is by diving into new experiences together. Whether that’s taking a workshop or trying out a new hobby or physical activity together, it’s a fun way to get your brain or your body in high gear. It also gives you a good starting point for conversation and future activities.
Share Your Hobbies
Invite your partner to try out one of your hobbies, or see if you can tag along to learn about theirs. It might not be something you love or want to do every week, but it gives you an excellent opportunity to learn about them, or share something about yourself.
Show Vulnerability
Eventually, emotional connection is going to require vulnerability. Once you’re feeling safe and secure with someone, you can open up about those important landmarks in your life that aren’t always so easy to talk about.
Conversely, when someone opens up to you, be an active listener. Acknowledge their feelings, ask questions, and treat this communication as a gift. You can share your own experiences as well if something rings true, but try to avoid advising unless asked. You’re here to learn, not teach. The same should be true when you open up to them.
Sexual Intimacy
Know Your Body
Spend some time with your body. Get to know what you like, and what you want. Permit yourself to explore things as a solo experience, so that you can tell people what you like when it’s time to be together.
Similarly, make sure you set boundaries. Be upfront about what you don’t like, or aren’t willing to try. You can say no without being judgmental.
Be Kind
Show yourself the same kindness you’d show others. Many of us are more insecure about the flaws in our bodies than we would about imperfections in someone else’s. Your body is a lived-in, wondrous thing—don’t worry about how it stacks up against other people that you see.
Focus on the feedback you’re getting from your partner, and if they’re ever cruel, remember that it says more about them than it does about you. You don't have to be perfect, you're human.
Communicate
Healthy intimacy is built on communication. This means expressing your needs and listening to your partner’s desires. It’s okay if your libidos are different, and you don’t enjoy all the same things. The important thing is working together to build a healthy sex life that makes you both happy. Find common ground.
Counseling
Many couples benefit from working with a qualified counselor or sex therapist to provide structure and safety. Therapy is all about learning skills and gaining tools that help you manage these issues on your own. If you’re looking for help establishing healthy intimacy, I’d love to help you on that journey.
If you are interested in learning more about relationship counseling or Christian Sex Therapy, don’t hesitate to reach out to me.
Sea Glass Counseling and Consultation is an EMDR therapy practice in Dublin, Ohio. Our compassionate, skilled therapists use evidence-based techniques grounded in the neurobiology of stress, trauma, and relationships to make sure your treatment is personalized and effective. Sea Glass therapists provide telehealth counseling in Ohio for individuals and couples. We’re best known for providing Intensive EMDR therapy, anxiety treatment, and sex therapy for Christians. Interested in working together? Contact us today to get started with a Certified EMDR therapist in Ohio.